My great grandfather’s father immigrated to the United States from Australia in the late 1800s. His father migrated to Australia from England in an era when most people from England associated Australia with criminals. I continue to search for the reasons he made that voyage. What I do know is that his descendants, my grandfather and his father, were tough men. During the great depression of the 1930s, when despair and tragedy crippled the nation, my great-grandfather, Charles Sparrow, was not selling, he was buying. He acquired a significant stretch of ground in an arid valley in South Eastern Idaho; which he cleared of sagebrush and rocks with the help of good horses and four sons. In the 1940s, when his other sons received agricultural deferments to stay out of the war, one boy, my grandfather, Raymond Sparrow, did not defer and was drafted into the Army. Privet Sparrow was in France guarding prisoners of war when, in an escape attempt, one of the prisoners shanked him in the abdomen with a jagged piece of metal. While recovering aboard a hospital ship, Army leaders discovered that this Idaho farm kid could weld. He then spent the rest of the war welding ships. He returned home with little fanfare; to a family farm where brothers had already staked claims. Rather than cause contention, he sought employment elsewhere. There were plenty of infrastructure projects in those days and his skills as a welder would serve him well. My aunt, in later years, presented me with parts of his Army uniform including his “Eisenhower“ jacket; which I consider today to be one of my prizest possessions. I never asked Grandpa Sparrow about his time in WWII. I never asked him much about anything, despite working side by side with him almost daily on the farm growing up. What I relayed here I know only from the little my dad shared with me after my grandfather passed away. I pause from story-telling at this point to impart some of the little wisdom I have, as I will do throughout the book. The second “to do” (the first being to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary and tell your own story, suggested in the introduction) is to find out who you are, and where you came from. I know it’s not earth shattering advice and most readers will determine by now whether to read on or add this to the stack of books they started to read but never "got into". Also, probably already obvious, I have a lot of learning to do myself; as I don’t know why my third-great-grandfather went to Australia in the first place. But truth is true, regardless of who it comes from and how simple it might be. The power of self-reflection does not cease to amaze me. Knowing who you are helps establish a starting point. It provides a lens through which to look out into the future and determine where it is you want to be. Many self-help and leadership books start here; with creating a vision. I agree that knowing where you are going is invaluable. I add, it starts with understanding where you are. And where you are, starts with knowing where you came from. Your personal back story, even your set-backs, are all part of the set-up for who you can become. (Micheal Jr.) The first lesson, spoiler alert, is tied inseparably to the last. If you understand the power of the past you also understand the power you can have on the future; the power of leaving a legacy. I illustrate by sharing some of the legacy of my grandpa Raymond’s bride, my Grandma, MarDene Sparrow. She married at age 16 and had six kids in an era and place where horses and wagons still took the family to church. She was a woman of conviction; her devotion evident as she sang praises. She sang with an amazing soprano voice. She knew the words to all the hymns and didn't have to be seated on the choir benches to be heard over the congregation. Grandma Sparrow left a legacy of combining these two ideas of; finding motivational stories in everyday life and remembering the stories of the past. In her own words, the following is the story of Chub and Jack (Punctuation and grammar are deliberately not corrected.) In his later years Daddy had a saying above his desk, “Every man in his lifetime is entitled to one good wife, one good horse and one good dog.” Daddy had each of these in his life and each could be the subject for many stories and experiences. Humorous, serious, faith promoting or character building. My subject for this story is Daddy's team, Cub and Jack. They are a legend in our family. When the folks were first married they bought a piece of land at the mouth of Mink Creek. It was 60 acres with a good water right. Much of it was covered with sage brush and willow, Daddy, with the help of this choice team of horses set to work to move a little two room house to the property and then to clear the land. Chub and Jack were well matched, and they were obedient. Daddy described them as being, "a good honest team". He said they worked together and he never asked them to pull but what they gave him all they had. It was the custom for the men to get their winter wood out of Strawberry Canyon. Several men would go together, taking their teams and helping each other. One day while they were cutting and loading their logs, a snow slide came down the mountain and blocked the road. When the men began their return home some had gone ahead of Dad. They came to the slide and each tried to go through it but their teams balked. Not one could get his team to pull through the slide. Then they said ",We'll wait for Bill, his team will pull through." Sure enough Chub and Jack PULLED THROUGH. Equal to the faith Daddy had in them. They gave the task all they had, and working together, being obedient to their beloved master, they pulled through the snow slide. Then the other teams could follow for the trail was broke. You know, a team can be a couple, a family, or a group of people any size, with a common purpose or goal. We can pull through the snow slides of life if we are obedient to the master, work together as a team, and give the effort all we've got. I want to be like Chub and Jack, I want to be like Daddys team. I want to "pull through" any problem, any snow slide that might block my road. I want to Pull through with my testimony still firm, my faith and love for my Savior still strong. I know the Lord loves me and he expects me to PULL THROUGH. After telling that story one critic muttered, "cool, a feel good story about horses, I don't have horses for ancestors and I don't relate to your Christian overtone" To which I respond "This story is about who I am because of where I came from and sets the stage for where I am going. Take this invitation and find out where you came from, who you are, and where you are going.” In addition, some principles are universal and can be internalized for our benefit regardless of whether they happened to unrelated people or even animals, such as hard work, overcoming obstacles, trust, and teamwork. My grandma died of breast cancer while I was at Army Basic Combat Training. She remained strong and kind to the end, always serving her family and her community. I miss her dearly. I never met anyone who loved their birthday as much as she did. April 16th will forever be celebrated in my house in honor of her legacy. "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to the fathers…” -Malachi 4:6 The legend of Chub and Jack runs deeper than the solitary conquering of a snow bank. While assisting with the construction of the twin lakes canal, the entrance to a tunnel collapsed, trapping Jack inside. Grandpa Hansen rushed to breach a hole through which he passed food and water for weeks while men and horses cleared dirt and rocks to reopen the tunnel and free the trapped animal. Jack was eventually rescued from the tomb where he was nearly buried alive but not without lasting effects. The weeks in near pitch black darkness left him ultra sensitive to light and nearly blind. He relied heavily on the commands of his handler and the feeling of the teammate next to him to know where to walk and when to pull. Chub remained a loyal companion, guiding him around the yard to avoid obstacles, to food, and to water. And Jack didn’t quit. Despite his disability he remained useful, helpful, and strong. My connection to this tale is deeply personal, as I face my own challenges and rely heavily on my teammates to, some times, literally guide me through. I will spare the details at this point because some are yet to raw to share, but challenge you to derive your own interpretation and meaning from the story, if you haven’t already. The lessons from these two are endless and legendary.
Chapter Zero: In the Beginning
My great-grandfather’s father immigrated to the United States from Australia in the late 1800s. His father had migrated to Australia from England in an era when many in England associated Australia with criminals. I continue to search for the reasons he made that voyage. What I do know is this: his descendants—my grandfather and his father—were tough men. During the Great Depression of the 1930s, when despair and tragedy crippled the nation, my great-grandfather, Charles Sparrow, was not selling. He was buying. He acquired a significant stretch of ground in an arid valley in southeastern Idaho, which he cleared of sagebrush and rocks with the help of good horses and four sons.
The Welder
In the 1940s, when his other sons received agricultural deferments to stay out of the war, one boy—my grandfather, Raymond Sparrow—did not defer. He was drafted into the Army. Private Sparrow was in France guarding prisoners of war when, during an escape attempt, one of the prisoners shanked him in the abdomen with a jagged piece of metal. While recovering aboard a hospital ship, Army leaders discovered that this Idaho farm kid could weld. He then spent the remainder of the war welding ships. He returned home with little fanfare—to a family farm where his brothers had already staked their claims. Rather than cause contention, he sought employment elsewhere. There were plenty of infrastructure projects in those days, and his welding skills served him well. Years later, my aunt presented me with parts of his Army uniform, including his “Eisenhower” jacket, which I consider one of my prized possessions. I never asked Grandpa Sparrow about his time in WWII. I never asked him much about anything, despite working side by side with him almost daily on the farm growing up. What I share here, I know only from the little my dad told me after Grandpa passed away.
Pause for Reflection
I pause here from storytelling to impart some of the little wisdom I have, as I will throughout this book. The second “to do” (the first being to look for the extraordinary in the ordinary and tell your own story) is this: Find out who you are and where you came from. It’s not earth-shattering advice. By now, readers will determine whether to continue reading or add this to the stack of books they started but never “got into.” Also obvious: I still have much learning to do myself. I don’t yet know why my third-great-grandfather went to Australia in the first place. But truth is truth, regardless of who speaks it. The power of self-reflection never ceases to amaze me. Knowing who you are establishes a starting point. It provides a lens through which to look into the future and decide where you want to be. Many leadership books begin with vision. I agree that knowing where you are going is invaluable. I would add this: It begins with understanding where you are. And where you are begins with knowing where you came from. Your personal backstory—even your setbacks—are part of the setup for who you can become. (Michael Jr.) If you understand the power of the past, you understand the power you can have on the future—the power of leaving a legacy.
Grandma MarDene
Let me illustrate through my grandfather Raymond’s bride—my Grandma, MarDene Sparrow. She married at sixteen and had six children in an era and place where horses and wagons still took families to church. She was a woman of conviction. Her devotion was evident as she sang praises with a remarkable soprano voice. She knew every hymn by heart and did not need to sit on the choir benches to be heard over the congregation. Grandma left a legacy of two things:
- Finding motivational stories in everyday life - Remembering the stories of the past
In her own words, here is the story of Chub and Jack. (Punctuation and grammar intentionally left untouched.)
Chub and Jack
“In his later years Daddy had a saying above his desk, ‘Every man in his lifetime is entitled to one good wife, one good horse and one good dog.’ Daddy had each of these in his life and each could be the subject for many stories and experiences—humorous, serious, faith-promoting, or character-building. My subject for this story is Daddy’s team, Chub and Jack. They are a legend in our family. When the folks were first married, they bought 60 acres at the mouth of Mink Creek. Much of it was covered with sagebrush and willow. Daddy, with the help of this choice team of horses, moved a little two-room house onto the property and began clearing the land. Chub and Jack were well matched and obedient. Daddy described them as ‘a good honest team.’ He said they worked together and never failed to give all they had. One winter, several men went together to Strawberry Canyon to gather wood. A snow slide blocked the road. Each man tried to drive his team through the slide, but their teams balked. ‘We’ll wait for Bill. His team will pull through.’ Sure enough Chub and Jack PULLED THROUGH. Equal to the faith Daddy had in them, they gave the task all they had. They worked together, obedient to their master, and broke the trail so the others could follow. You know, a team can be a couple, a family, or any group with a common purpose. We can pull through the snow slides of life if we are obedient, work together, and give the effort all we’ve got. I want to be like Chub and Jack. I want to pull through any problem, any snow slide that blocks my road. I want to pull through with my testimony firm, my faith and love for my Savior strong. I know the Lord loves me and expects me to PULL THROUGH.”
After telling that story, one critic muttered: “Cool. A feel-good story about horses. I don’t have horses for ancestors, and I don’t relate to your Christian overtone.” To which I respond: This story is about who I am because of where I came from. It sets the stage for where I am going. Take the invitation. Find out where you came from, who you are, and where you are going. Some principles are universal—hard work, trust, overcoming obstacles, teamwork. They can be internalized for our benefit, even if the story belongs to someone else… or even to animals.
Loss and Legacy
My grandma died of breast cancer while I was at Army Basic Combat Training. She remained strong and kind to the end—always serving family and community. I miss her dearly. I have never met anyone who loved her birthday as much as she did. April 16th will forever be celebrated in my home in honor of her legacy. “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers…” — Malachi 4:6
The Deeper Legend
The legend of Chub and Jack runs deeper than one snowbank. While helping construct the Twin Lakes Canal, the entrance to a tunnel collapsed, trapping Jack inside. Grandpa Hansen rushed to breach a small hole through which he passed food and water for weeks while men and horses cleared dirt and rock to reopen the tunnel. Jack was eventually rescued from what had nearly become his tomb. But not without consequence. Weeks in near pitch-black darkness left him nearly blind. He became ultra-sensitive to light. He relied heavily on his handler’s voice and the presence of his teammate beside him to know where to walk and when to pull. Chub remained loyal—guiding him around obstacles, to food, to water. And Jack did not quit. Despite his disability, he remained useful, helpful, and strong.
Personal Connection
My connection to this story is deeply personal. I face my own challenges and rely heavily on my teammates—sometimes literally—to guide me through. I will spare the details for now; some are still too raw to share. But I invite you to derive your own interpretation and meaning from the story, if you haven’t already. The lessons from Chub and Jack are endless. And legendary.
Chapter Zero: In the Beginning
The Welder
Pause for Reflection
Grandma MarDene
Chub and Jack
Loss and Legacy
The Deeper Legend
Personal Connection
Once when I asked my brother about the expert marksmanship badge on his uniform, he confessed that he maintained it in spite of his vision being so poor that he could barely see the far targets. He compensated by becoming very good at being very quick and accurate on close range, and in a firefight he likes to have a marksman with keen eyes him to watch for threats beyond his range. In this book it's my job to strive to be a good battle buddy to him, and as he tells the story of his life to look out to the rest of the world and find similar ideas, stories, studies and statistics, to help back him up and strengthen his position.
But in this first or zeroth chapter, I first want to put in my two cents with another story we share in our heritage, and then I promise to do my job and tell you, backed up by research, why I think Homer's advice to "find out who you are and where you came from" may be some of his best in the whole book.
When our Grandpa William "Tony" Francis was young he was told in a blessing that he would live to a ripe old age. Later as a radio operator aboard a naval Destroyer the U.S.S Rooks, a Kamikaze pilot was spotted diving for their ship. As Grandpa Tony told it, and now many of his progeny tell it, in that moment he thought to himself
"Well Francis, it looks like you're going to have to swim tonight."
As a kid I don't think I was ever told what the moral of the story was supposed to be, but I am even more in awe of it now than I was hearing about it as a kid. In my mind I see the words coming from the handsome face I've seen in pictures of him wearing his naval uniform proudly. I see him on a battleship of the pacific fleet doing his duty with optimism and hope even as doom and fear loomed large. I also see it sitting at the feet of a warm barrel chested old man as his face gleamed with love, his lips curved with joy, his eyes filled with tears, and his voice choked with emotion. Most of my memories of my grandpa are of him smiling even as his voice would catch while telling a story or sharing something important to him.
His optimism, strength, and warmth give me strength whenever I think of him, tell his stories, or sing his songs.
Some of my favorite research ever done anywhere ever, is that done with the "Do you know" scale, and other studies it has inspired. Essentially children are given a list of 20 yes or no questions asking them if they know things about their parents, grandparents etc. The results are consistently amazing. The scores on the exam are consistently and strongly correlated with higher self-esteem, a more internal locus of control and lower anxiety.
This isn't just one of those good for kids principles either. A group of university students who were studied while taking a family history class showed an 8% improvement in self-esteem and a 20% reduction in anxiety, with increased “family identification” acting as a pathway that helped explain broader psychological well-being improvements.
Telling heroic, dramatic, emotional, heartfelt, silly, fun, funny, ridiculous, and even apocryphal family and personal stories have been shown to have dramatic benefits.
Tell your personal, family, and even found family stories whenever you get a chance. Ask others to share their stories with you. Watch how it affects you, those you love, and those you lead.
And whenever you get a chance, we'd love to hear your stories to.